


My Pain (Fraxus)

by LizbeyChan



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cutting, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizbeyChan/pseuds/LizbeyChan
Summary: After Mirajane and Laxus start dating it crushes Freed's heart. He falls into a depression until somebody steps into his life. Freed begins to feel happy and like he's wanted but the relationship takes a turn for the worst...
Relationships: Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar/Mirajane Strauss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	1. I'm Impatient

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is not recently written. I am currently trying to put my fanfictions currently on Wattpad, on here. Though, I will be updating the fanfiction being added
> 
> TW:  
> •Depression  
> •Self-harm/Attempted Suicide  
> •Abuse/Violence  
> •NSFW/Rape  
> If any of these trigger you, please do not read. This story is about a physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive relationship so this will have depictions of that. Please, if you are in an abusive relationship or recovering from one, there is always someone to help you and you can get out of it.

|Freed's POV|

It was quite uneventful today. Team Natsu left on a three-day job so we are all pretty quiet and bored. It's weird not having people throwing tables and screaming. Gosh, we all used to be so lively but, after the Grand Magic Games then being stuck on an island for 7 years, we lost a lot of happiness. I mean we are all pretty happy anyways but... it's not like you miss out on 7 years of your life in a flash. I sighed and looked around, my head rested on my hands. Evergreen hasn't been feeling too well lately, though it's probably just a quick cold. Bickslow just recently started dating Lisanna so those two are on cloud 9 and Laxus...well. He started dating Mirajane a couple of days ago. It kind of set me back a little bit and it made me sad. I do have very deep feelings for Laxus and I'm sad he is in love with someone else but if he's happy, I'm happy. I sigh again and lift up my head to look around. Ever already went home for the day and Bickslow went out with Lis. Laxus was sitting at the bar talking to Mira as she cleaning the bar and the glasses. I get up from the small booth and walk over to the bar and stand next to Laxus.

"Oh, hey Freed!" Mira exclaimed, "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good, thank you though. I was just about to go home but I was going to bid you two farewell," I reply and Laxus looks up at me.

"Well. I'll see ya later then," Laxus said," hey, maybe when Ever gets a bit better we can go out on a job."

"Yes, I would like that. Well, goodbye you two," I say and smile. I turn away and start walking towards the doors but I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see Levy with a huge smile on her face and a book in hand.

"Oh-Levy. What is the matter?" I say and smile at her.

"Well, I just finished reading this book and I wanted to see if you would want to read it?" The small-girl says and shoves a small book in my direction.

"Oh really? Well, thank you. I will definitely read it sometime," I reply and I read the cover, 'Jane Eyre'.

"Hm, I've never seen this book before," I say and look at her.

She giggles, "Its a book I found in the library and apparently it was published by a young woman a really long time ago. Its kind of long but I figured you could read it pretty quick."

"Yeah, I probably will. Well, thank you again, Levy. I will return it as soon as I finish. I will see you tomorrow," I tell her and smile. She chuckles and walks away after giving me a big hug. I walk out of the guild and I start to head towards my small apartment. I recently moved out of the house I was living in with the rest of the Thunder Legion because everyone was getting into relationships and I didn't want to be a burden. Ever and Elfman are "secretly" dating, Bickslow is with Lisanna and Laxus is with Mira; I'm not in a relationship so I figured it would be an invasion of privacy to continue living with them so, I got an apartment. I walked inside of the lobby and saw the receptionist, Theresa, she is a kind old women who is a refugee.

"Hey, Theresa. How are you doing today?" I say and walk over to the counter where she works.

"Oh-Freed. Your home early. Oh-uh I'm doing well and you?" She responds with a very clear Jewish accent.

"I'm okay..." I reply and lean against the counter.

"Is it Laxus again?" Theresa says and sighs as she leans on her hands.

"Yeah, I guess. All of my friends are so happy in their relationships and they just leave me here all alone with nobody. Well, I have you," I say and chuckle at my last sentence.

"Ah, love will come dear. I learned that. I didn't meet my husband for thirty years after my failed attempts at love. It just takes time to meet the right person," She responds.

"Yes, I know. I'm just...impatient."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I never noticed how short I wrote these chapters


	2. Love?

|Freed's POV|

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I sigh, sitting up. I don't really feel like doing anything anymore. I take off my jacket and lay it on the side of my bed as I walk towards my bathroom. As I stare at myself in the mirror, I break down. The tears on my cheeks fall faster every time. They leave stains on my skin and my eyes red and dull. I sit on the floor, my back against the bathtub. I try to wipe my tears away from my sleeve but the tears just fall faster. I eventually give up and I steady myself and push against the wall. I look in the dirty mirror again and then I get that sudden urge. The urge to bleed. The urge to hurt. The urge to cut...

I shuffle through my bathroom cabinets as fast as I could trying to find a blade or a knife or a razor or something that could do me damage. I sift through a drawer and I feel a poke on my index finger. I pull away but I got back to find a clean, ready-to-use blade from a $1 razor. I sit on my bathtub again and I aggressively pull my sleeves my arms as fast as I could. I run the blade over my arm, over and over. The blood begins to spill out from my arm as fast as I cut. The small marks across my arm get red with irritation and blood. I eventually slow down, tears streaming down my cheeks and blood drops onto the marble flooring. I drop the razor and I feel it all at one time. I scream in pain and I slid down the tub to the blood soaked floor. I can taste salt from my tears on my tongue and the urge to puke. I hold my arm close to me as I moan in pain and regret. My eyes begin to burn and become puffy. My lip won't stop quivering and my whole body is shaking. My head hurts. My arm hurts. My heart hurts. Everything hurts... I eventually pass out and when I wake up I see no light coming through the window. I sigh and look around. Blood. Blood everywhere. It is on my arm, in my hair, on my clothes, on the floor.

I sigh and a single tear streams down my cheek softly. I get up, still holding my bloodied arm close to my chest. I look in the mirror again and study my face. My eyes, puffy and red from crying. My hair, matted with my blood. My arms...bloodied with my own foolishness. I walk over to the medicine cabinet, located close to my toilet, and I open it to search for some bandages. I find some old, bloody ones and I start to wrap it around my arm. I don't care about possible infection. I don't care about getting clean bandages. I just don't care... I sigh and walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom. I strip off my clothes and I throw on a black hoodie and some random, ripped jeans as well as normal converse. I don't really feel like wearing my usual. I sigh again and wrap my hair into a bun, despite having blood in it. Like I said, I don't care. I grab my phone, keys and wallet and place them in the pocket of my sweatshirt. I walk out of the door and slip through the lobby so Theresa doesn't see me. I shoved my hands into the pocket of my hoodie while I walk towards the bar close to my apartment complex. I open the door and see a few drunks. It was only 11pm so it was still drinking hour. I sit down at the bar and a bartender walks over to me. He is very slimly built with a long face, afternoon style, jet black hair and light, icy blue eyes. I felt a burn rush over my cheeks and I froze. He was beautiful.

"Is there anything you want sir...…I'm sorry I'm not trying to assume your gender...," He says and also gets a small blush over his cheeks.

"O-oh-uh. I'm a guy haha. Um-can I get a glass of vodka?" I respond and put my elbows on the island and my head in my hands.

"Um-yes of course!" He says and gets me a tall glass of vodka. Oh he knows how I'm feeling. He sets the glass in front of me and smiles.

"So. I haven't seen you around here. What's your name?" He says and grabs a glass to polish.

"Oh. I'm Freed Justine. I-I'm a rune mage," I say and take sip of my drink.

"What a lovely name. I'm Erik Sylvester and I'm a...bartender?" Erik says and laughs. I also take part in the laughter.

"So what are you doing around here?" He says and smiles. His eyes sparkle and his hair flops over his forehead so perfectly.

"Well my long-term crush and teammate just started dating one of my friends and I just. I just don't know how to feel about it," I say and my smile fades, as does his. I take a big gulp of my vodka and set it back down on a white napkin.

"Oh. I know that feeling all to well." Erik says," But hey! There is always other fish in the sea and you don't have to limit your self to one person!"

"Haha. Yeah I guess," I respond and I stare into his eyes. I sigh and take another drink of my liquor. I feel my migraine worsening but the hell with it I guess. Erik and I talk for hours on end, as it feels like, about our lives and it turns out...he is bisexual. The more and more I drink the more I feel myself falling into a pit but I feel...a hand pulling me up...

*time skip*

I wake up to the shaking of my shoulders and a hug hangover. I try to sit up but my head is to much in pain. I grab my head and moan in pain.

"Hey, hey! Its okay. It's me, Erik," I hear a voice say and I look up to see the lovely face I met last night. I was still in the bar and light shown through the paneled windows. Erik lifted me up from my uncomfortable position on the table and handed me a glass of water as well as a couple pills. I sigh and take them.

"Hey so do you want me to take you home or to your guild?" Erik says and helps me stand.

"Well I'm late as is so I might as well head there anyways," I respond and feel my arms shaking. He looked at my hand and saw my guildmark. He picks me up and carries me piggy back style. I am rather light so it wasn't that hard. I start to drift off in Erik's arms but before I could he already got me to the guild. He opened the doors and helped me stand up. I saw a couple people look my way and gasp usually they don't see me like this. My legs and arms are shaking and I feel like falling but Erik sits me down at a table.

"Hey Freed. Your at your guild hall. Do you want me to stay awhile?" The man says with his hands on my shoulders.

"N-no no. I'm good. You go do your thing...," I say without thinking and I hug him gently. He finally pries me off of him and leaves. As soon as he's gone my team all rushes over to me, asking a million questions faster than my brain can process. I hold my head and stumble over to the informatory but on the way I almost fall but catch myself on a table. I eventually get to the room and I close the door behind me. I rush over to the bathroom and I throw up so much I feel like there isn't any more bodily fluids in me. I lay on the tile of the bathroom and I wipe my face with my sleeve. I force myself up and I sit on one of the white beds. I shovel through my pockets and I feel a small piece of paper. I pull it out and unfold it.

Hey, Freed. Its Erik you should call me :)  
973-0274-178

I feel a gigantic blush fall over my cheeks and I lay down with the piece of paper close to my chest. I eventually pass out with live and triumph in my heart and soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I got a nickle for every time I said "I" in this chapter, I would own a yacht. Honestly, what was wrong with my writing last year?


	3. Hello?

|Freed's POV|

I again woke up to being shaken but when I looked up it wasn't the same person as the first time. As my blurry vision got better I look up and saw Ever and Bickslow. I sigh and try to sit up. My migraine had gotten a lot better which was delightful but I still felt a slight pounding. I sat on the bed next to my friends and I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands. 

"Freed what happened? You just up and left yesterday and you didn't call us last night like you usually do!" Ever yelled. She wasn't wearing her usual either, probably because she was sick.

"Yeah man! You really scared us! Especially Laxus!" Bickslow yelled and his babies are floating above him.

"He wouldn't even care a bit and you know it. He cares more about Mira then anybody else anymore. He didn't even bother to go visit Ever when she was sick!" I yelled back and sighed. I pulled my knees in close to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"You know he would care. He just...," Ever said and sighed.

"Then where is he now Ever? Tell me. Give me a good reason to why he actually cares about us anymore," I mumble and then chuckle at myself. I can't believe I was such an idiot. An idiot to love him. I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed. I grab my phone off the table next to me and checked the notifications. Nothing. As per usual.

"Do you want to go get something to drink?" Ever said and rubbed by back with her hand.

"Y-yeah. Let's do that," I reply and stand up. I stumble for a second but I steady myself. We walk out of the room and we walk over to a small table. I heard a few people mumble and a couple just get quiet and stare. None of them are used to me being like this. I'm never out of my uniform and I've never been super hungover around them either. I sigh and Ever walks over to me with a glass of water. I take a sip and it makes me feel like puking more than I already do. I set the glass down again and look around.

I decide to take down my green hair and I run my fingers through it. As my fingers reach the bottom of it is harden and not hair like. I look down and see the dried blood that has clumped up. I make a small gasp and quickly tie it back up into a bun so nobody notices. I can feel my cheeks and ears getting warm and I started to squirm. I really don't feel like being here and with everybody staring at me and catching glances its a little uncomfortable. I sigh and take another sip of my water. I look at Evergreen and Bickslow while they play on their phones, probably texting their significant others. I stand and stretch but I feel a sharp pain in my arms and I feel a bit of blood run down my arm. I gasp and pulls my arm down to hold it close to my chest. I felt the blood run through the dried bandages and through the cloth of my sleeve. I felt like I had a million paper cuts all over my arm.

"I-I'm gonna go home, guys," I say and they look up at me.

"Wha-why?" Evergreen asks and her soft smile turns into a frown.

"I-I don't feel like dealing with people today. Especially you two," I reply and hold my arm tighter.

"W-well okay," Ever says and turns off her phone.

"Hey if you need anything we are always here," Bickslow says and leans back with his arms crossed.

"Yeah, yeah," I say and start to walk out of the guild. I sigh and I feel a couple beads of sweat run down my face. It was from a mix of anxiety and the hot sun beating down. I stumble to my apartment and I try to avoid Theresa, again, but this time I failed.

"Ah, Freed. I didn't see you leave," She says and smiles. She moves her glasses up her nose with her index finger then the phone rings. Theresa answers," Hello this is Theresa from Homely Apartments. How may I help you?"

I make a fake smile as she looks up at me and waves me off, telling me this will be a long call. I wave goodbye to her and run up the stairs as fast as I could. I reach for my keys but my hands are shaking so badly from the pain I can barley function. I finally was able to unlock the door and I slammed it shut. I tear off my sweatshirt to see the bloody bandages. I sit down on my bed and slowly take off the bandage with my shaky hand. Small red cuts were scattered across my forearm. You could see old scars, older cuts and my fresh ones. I do have to admit that I have always had some trouble with my depression for a very long time but I feel like this is my climax. A couple of the cuts had unsealed and started to bleed again. Its always a pain the day or two after you cut. I sigh and I feel a single tear run down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away with my shirt and I rebandage my arm. I walk towards my closet and grab a different hoodie, this time it is dark green. I grab my phone and keys and walk out the door. I walk down the stairs and Theresa is still on the phone. I shove my hands in my pockets and walk down the concrete sidewalk. I wonder over to the grocery store and as I walk in I grab a small basket. I sigh and look around. There is a man with his daughter. A women shopping alone. A man with his significant other. A teen with her siblings. A cashier dealing with a moody customer... I sigh and walk over to where the cashier is. A women is demanding she speak to a manager because her month old coupons won't work.

"I-I'm sorry mame I can't really do anything!" The cashier says frantically, she seems to be in her late teens; probably her first job.

"What do you mean you can't do anything?! Just put the damn thing in your system!" The women yells. She has blonde "can I speak to your manager" hair and the total thirty year old soccer mom with 6 kids look. The teen proceeds to frantically tell the women she can't do anything but she is very persistent. As I walk over to the counter I set the basket down and I see the women raise her hand up to the teens face. I rush over to her and grab her wrist, resulting in her gasping in pain.

"What the hell do you think your doing?!" She yells.

"I am restraining a helpless wannabe of a freak-out from hitting a scared teen. She already told you she can't do anything about it and I don't think $2 off Oreo's is this much of a deal," I say with a straight face. The customers behind her gasp and gossip.

"W-what?!" She says and tries to think something good to say to defend herself. I release her arm and I see the manager as well as a security guard walk towards us.

"What is the problem here, Addison?" The manager asks and look up.

"U-uh this w-women demands that her overdue coupons will work and she when she was about to hit me this man...women....I'm sorry your hair makes you very unidentifiable...well they came in and stopped her," The teen says with her shaking voice.

"Well I see," He says and looks at me," Thank you."

I nod and then the manager looks at the women," Mame I am afraid your coupons are invalid after the due date so we can't do anything. If you would please pay for your items and leave we wont have any problems." The women gasps and quickly gets her groceries as she runs out of the store.

Again the manager looks at me," Oh uh thank you again Mr...?"

"Mr. Justine," I say and I shake his hand. The teen smiles at me and returns to her work. I sigh and pick up the basket again. As I walk through the isles I pick up my essentials. I grab a small gallon of milk, Raisin Brand, some ibuprofen and on the way out, a couple sets of bandages, for future use. I walk up to a cashier and I pay for my items. I walk out of the store and I begin to walk home. As I walk into my apartment building I see that Theresa isn't there but the other receptionist, Amy. I smile and wave at her as I scurry up the stairs. I walk into my apartment and I put my things away. I take off my sweatshirt and I unwrap my arm. I open up a package of bandages and wrap a clean one around my arm. I sigh and through myself onto my bed. I turn on my TV and it automatically goes to the news channel. It has a women with dark brown hair talking about how angry customers are getting out of hand and all. I wasn't really paying attention till they talked about a man with green hair restraining a women who was mad at a cashier. I look up to see the surveillance footage from the store. I chuckle and turn off the TV. As I reach for my phone on the side table I feel a small piece of wrinkled paper and grab it. It was the note from Erik. I giggle and grab my phone. I input the numbers into the phone and it rings till he picks up.

"Hello?"


	4. I Think I'm In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut :D

|Freed's POV|

"Oh-uh hey. Its Freed. The guy you met at the bar," I said into the phone.

"Ah Freed! I didn't think you would call," Erik replied and chuckled.

"Haha, of course I would. So, how was your day?" I replied and laid on my stomach on top of my bed.

"Eh, it was okay I guess. Hey, I saw you on TV. What was that about?" He asked and his voice lightened.

"Well, I saw a stupid lady and didn't feel like listening to her blabber so, I yelled at her and they posted the recording I guess," I replied.

"Interesting. Do you want to meet up for some coffee or something?" Erik says and he gives out a nervous chuckle.

"Ah! I would love that! Would you like to go now? I-if your not busy," I say and pure joy I heard in my voice.

"Yeah that would be great! Want to meet at the Bean & Frappe café?" He says.

"Yeah. Wanna meet at 6?" I say and start to stand up from my bed.

"Sure, that would be great. So, I'll see you then?" He says and chuckles.

"Yup! Alright bu-bye," I reply and hang up. I set my phone down and take off my sweatshirt. I open up my wardrobe and shuffle through the hangers. I grab one of my pretty purple dress shirts and a pair of tall black boots. As soon as I'm done getting dressed, I shuffle over to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I take my hair down from the bun it was in and I notice the blood that stained the tips. I turn the cold faucet and water spills from it. I run my hair through the water and the blood begins to wash out as my hair returns to its natural green color. As soon as the blood is washed out I turn off the water and dry off my hands. I grab a small towel from the cabinet and dry my hair the best I could with it. I open up the small drawer located to the left of the sink and sift my hands through it till I feel the matte hairbrush. I grab it and brush the bristles through my hair as fast as I could. I brush my bangs to the side of my face. My hands grab the extra hair that usually hangs over my ears and bring it back to pin it with a small barrette in the back of my head. I grab the cologne that I keep by my sink and spray it around my body. I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. Oh lord, I'm actually hideous.

I sigh and walk out of the bathroom. I grab the black jacket that hung off the side of my desk chair and threw it on. I made my way over to my nightstand and grabbed my phone, wallet and keys. I sigh again and sit down on my bed. I stare at my hands for a second before I burst my thought bubble and stand up. I walk out of the apartment and I walk down the stairs. My legs are heavy and my head is pounding. I don't know why I always get like this every single time I go out with someone. Is it my conscience? Maybe my heart just isn't agreeing with my head. I really don't know. I rush out of the building, not bothering to talk to Theresa. As I walk down the street I begin to notice something. This isn't the same place I knew before I became enriched in my low self esteem and loneliness. Everything used to seem so bright and Magnolia was such a beautiful place to be but now it is different. I mean that was years ago when I was only 21 but now I'm 28 and my life is changing. I have to admit that someday nothing will be the same. My brain will manipulate the world to seem that way my whole life. I sigh as I approach the café. I pull out my phone and check the time. 5 minutes late. Well I guess that's not too bad? I look around and shove my phone back into my pocket. I soon see Erik waving at me as he leans on the doorway of the shop. I speed walk over to where he is and we embrace in a small hug.

"H-hey," I say kind of jittery as for still being lost in my thoughts.

"Hey. So you ready?" Erik says and I can feel the confidence radiating from him. He was very obviously happy. I let off a weak smile and we waltz into the café. It was a pretty typical café, like the ones you read in books. You have the hipsters, the geeks, the bookworms, the dates, the college students, the basic white girls, etc. I sigh and we walk over to the line of the cashier.

"So, what do you want?" Erik says with a certain gentleness in his voice.

"Mm. White chocolate mocha?" I muttered silently. Erik smiles and we arrive at the front of the cashier.

"Can we get a white chocolate mocha, a strawberry frappuccino and a large chocolate chip cookie?" Erik says and smiles at the young cashier, probably around 17.

"Yup. Alright, that will be $16.87," He says and reaches out for Erik's credit card. He scans it and hands us the receipt. We walk over to where the orders are placed and ready.

"So, other than being on TV today how was it?" He insisted and smiled as he reached for my hands. My cheeks heat up at the feel of his hands and I smile," It was okay I guess. Pretty bad hangover. Really annoying friends."

"Haha, I know that feeling," Erik replies and a young girl sets our order on the low, beige countertop. We grab our coffees and cookie and we make our way over to an empty table. We both sit down and I take a sip of my mocha. I smile at the taste of it and set it back on the table. Erik is staring at me with sparkles caught in his eyes. Oh my god, he is really cute. I smile and he bursts out of his thoughts to smile as well. We begin to have some small talk as we drank our coffee.

"So you said your a mage?" Erik says.

"Ah, yes. I am a rune mage which means I create a special type of writing that can alter things I guess," I explain and take another sip of my coffee.

"Hm, interesting," He quarried, obviously confused.

"Oh and just so you know my eye is a little weird when I do magic..." I say and look down.

"It can't be that weird. I ain't scared!" He insisted and smiled at me. I sigh and pull back my bangs to show my black and purple eye.

"Damn that's actually really cool Freed," Erik says and laughs.

"R-really? Most of my non-wizard dates think its weird," I reply and a smile begins to show up on my face.

"Well, I think its freaking sick," He says and laughs again. I take another sip of my coffee and pull out my phone. Its already 7:25. I sigh and put my phone back into my pocket.

"Do you want to head home?" Erik says. I'm guessing he knows that I need to get home.

"Y-yeah. I have to be at the guild at 7:30 tomorrow," I say and smile at him.

"Well I might as well walk ya home," Erik instructed and stood up confidently. I stand up as well.

"I guess that wouldn't be a problem. Well if you don't have anything important to do," I mutter and grab my empty coffee cup.

"Nope I don't. No work tonight," Erik says and smiles. I throw my cup into the trash can and Erik follows. We walk out of the café and Erik follows me to my apartment. His cold hand reaches for mine but he doesn't look at me. He just smiles. I sigh and we keep walking as a brisk wind blows at our faces. We soon arrive at my apartment complex and as we walk in Theresa looks up at me.

"Ah, Freed! Ooo and a newcomer. Is this a new one?" She asks and giggles.

"Yup. This is Erik Sylvester," I introduce him and she holds out her hand. He lets go of mine and takes hers in his hand.

"Its nice to meet you miss...?" Erik says and asks for her name.

"Miss Theresa Longsberry," She replies and smiles as they let go of each others hands.

"Well you too get to know each other. Remember Freed, these are thin walls...," Theresa says with compassion in her voice. My face heats up and Erik laughs.

"Oh my gosh, Theresa!" I yell and laugh. She laughs as well and we make our way up the stairs. I grab my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door. We walk inside and I relock the door. I take off my jacket and throw it on my chair. Erik goes up from behind me and wraps his arms around me. He sway from side to side and his lips move down my neck. I let out a small gasp and he chuckles. He lets go of me and we make our way over to my bedroom. He closes the door and he walks over to me. Erik presses his lips against mine and I gasp. His lips are soft and taste of coffee. I lean into his kiss and he slides his tongue into my mouth. We begin to fight for dominance and Erik slides his hands down by waist as I wrap my arms around his neck. He pushes me into my bed and my back hits the mattress. I pull away for air and Erik looks deep into my eyes.

"Hey...Erik before we get to into this...I have to show you something," I say and begin to unbutton my shirt and throw it on the carpet. He sits down next to me and I unwrap the bandages located on my arms. Erik gasps at the sight of my scars. I see tears well up in his eyes. He gently grabs my arm and runs his fingers down my wrist.

"I-I have a couple on my legs too but only a few," I say and look up at him. He kisses my arms and looks at me.

"No matter what your going through. No matter what scars you have. Or what past you have. That doesn't change the way I love you," Erik tells me with sweet desperation in his voice. I feel a tear form and fall down my cheek.

"Most guys break up with me for it...," I say and I feel the lump in my throat get larger.

"Well forget those assholes. You have me now," He says and smiles. Erik lays his hand on my cheek and wipes away the tear with his thumb. He kisses me again and I begin to take off his jacket. Erik pulls away and takes off his t-shirt. He isn't completely buffed out but he could definitely beat up a guy even for his normal sized figure. I run my hands over his chest and he runs his hands through my hair. I pull away and take off my shoes and pants while he does the same.

"H-hey Erik...uh this...this is my first time. I-I know I'm a little late but," I say and look down.

"Awe. Its okay Freed. I'll go easy on ya," He says and chuckles. I pushes me down on the bed and my head sinks into the pillow. Erik's gives me a small kiss the moves down my body. His fingers run over my body as he leaves small kisses everywhere. As Erik goes down farther he takes off my boxers and my erection gets larger. My face begins to heat up and Erik puts my member in his mouth. I let out a small gasp and put a hand over my face. He giggles as he takes all of me and eventually stops to get air. Erik looks up at me and smiles. He brings his face back to level with mine and he kisses my lips. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. Erik puts his hand on my cheek and I lean into it.

"Are you okay to go farther?" Erik asks and my face heats up more and more.

"Y-yes," I manage to stutter out. He smiles and reaches into the pocket of his coat that lays on the end of the bedframe. He pulls out a small bottle of lube and opens the cap with a small 'pop'. Erik squirts some of the liquid onto his erection and I spread my legs so he can apply it to my lower region as well. I sit up and I sit on my knees over his member. My hands lay on his shoulders and I look into his eyes. Erik smiles and puts his hands on my hips. I slowly lower myself down onto his manhood. As he enters me I let out a small gasp of pain but I keep lowering myself onto him. I close my eyes and lay my head on his chest. I eventually get all of him inside of me and I try to keep back my gasps of pain. I look up at Erik and his face appears to have pure distress. I giggle and kiss him quickly.

"H-hey. I'm fine. It will get better," I say reassuringly. He sighs and nods his head. I start to move slowly as I get more used to it. I begin to let out small moans and gasps the more I move and Erik's face begins to reveal a dark red. He begins to forcefully move my hips with his hand to thrust hard. I let out a loud moan and I throw a hand over my mouth.

"E-Erik….I-I," I gasped out and I lay my head on his shoulders. I put my hands on the back of his head and sift my fingers through his hair. I feel the sweat dripping from my body and the sensation starts to become unbearable.

"Oh-Erik! I'm g-gonna...," I say as I begin to reach my climax. I come and the semen sprays on both of our chests and shortly after he comes in me. I feel the heat inside of me and I let out another load moan. I fall back onto the bed, my hair stuck to my face from sweat. Erik smiles and we slip under the covers of my bed. He puts his hand onto my cheek again and I smile. As I stare into his eyes my vision becomes blurry and I start to drift to sleep. As I fall asleep I hear words I wish I could have heard years ago...

"I love you."


	5. The Day After

|Freed's POV|

As I wake up I feel a pain in my backside and my head is throbbing. My eyes begin to flutter open but the light from the window causes my eyes to close again. I put a hand over my eyes and I sit up from my bed. I look around, my hands still partially covering me. Erik is gone and the side he slept on is disheveled with the pillow on the floor. I giggle and stand up slowly. The pain causes me to regret my last choice and I sit back down, which also hurts as well. I sigh and walk over to my dresser. I pull out a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. As soon as I throw on some clothing, I walk over to the door and walk into the kitchen. I hear the stove crackle and the sweet smell of food lingers in the air. As I walk through my small apartment I see Erik with a towel around his waist, cooking breakfast. Oh my gosh, you are probably thinking, what a cliché but it's true.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Erik says and looks up at me.

"Morning," I say and smile. He walks over to me and gives me a small kiss. He smiles and walks back over to the stove. I look around to see two bowls, a pan and some utensils sitting in the sink just from this morning. I laugh out loud and cover my face.

"Oh, Erik. You so cute!" I say as I laugh. Erik looks at me and smiles.

"What why?" He says and giggles.

"Oh nothin," I say and cross my arms. Erik goes back to cooking and slides a pancake onto two paper plates. I walk over to the coffee machine and hit the start button. As the coffee pours into the large container I rub butter around my pancake as well as Erik's. He goes into my room and puts on a t-shirt and sweatpants. The coffee pot soon finishes and I pour it into two cups. I bring the food and coffee and set it on the table. We both sit down and chow down on our food.

"So how is your day so far?" I ask and smile.

"Pretty good now that I have seen your face," Erik says and smiles. My face heats up and I put my hands over my face. I look at the clock and see it's already 8:49 am.

"Holy shit!" I yelled and jumped out of my chair. I ran into my bedroom and changed into some casual clothing and put my hair into a ponytail.

"W-what's the matter?!" Erik yelled very surprised and confused.

"I have to be at the guild at 8 am everyday and I'm already about to be an hour late!" I yelled as I finished getting ready.

"Thanks Erik! I love you!" I yelled and ran out of the apartment. I raced down the stairs and didn't bother to say anything to Theresa. I ran down the street and soon got close to the guild. I quickly ran in and everybody looked at me.

"Freed. Why are you late again," Master said and I winced. Everybody looked at me very confused.

"W-well, I woke up a little late. I-I'm sorry it wont happen again," I say and my face heats up a little.

Master sighs," Fine. I'll let it go this time. You better not be late tomorrow."

"I-I won't master." I sigh and walk over to sit at my groups usual table.

"So, heard you were on TV, hm," Evergreen says and leans over to lay her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, what was that about," Bickslow says and does the same but from my other side.

"It was nothing," I say and lean my head in my hands.

"Hmm sure," Ever says and leans away. She takes a sip from her drink.

"So, why you late today Freedy-baby?" Bickslow says and leans the side of his head on his hand as he looks at me.

"I just woke up late," I replied and saw Mira walk over to us.

"Can I get you anything Freed?" The white haired woman says with a tray on her hip.

"Just some water please," I say and sigh. Her face has pure confusion and worry written all over it and she walks away only to return very soon with a glass of water. I take a sip as she walks away and set the glass down.

"Alright Freed, what's the matter?" Ever says with a hint of anger in her voice.

"There is nothing the matter Evergreen! Leave it alone!" I say kind of loud which catches a few peoples attention.

"F-fine," She says and stomps off. Bickslow sighs and gets up as well. He knows that if he says anything he will get the same answer. Y'know I wonder where Laxus is. I stand up and wandering over to the bar where Mira stood and cleaned glasses.

"Do you know where Laxus is Mira?"

"Mm, I think he is on a mission. Why?"

"I was just wondering. I haven't seen him in a while I guess."

"Hm. What is the matter, Freed. You aren't the same. Did something happen?"

"N-no. I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You know there will always be someone here for you."

"Yes, I know. I'm fine Mira."

She sighs and walks away with a couple glasses of beer on top of her tray. I sigh and set my face in my hands. Oh my god. I can feel an anxiety attack. I feel small drops of sweat roll down my face and I slam my hand on the table. What the hell?! Tears well up in my eyes as I feel my chest tightening and my breathing becomes altered and fast. C-calm down...I tell myself but my anxiety just won't leave me alone. A tear falls down my cheek and I begin to stiffen up. S-shit! I stand up quickly and fall to my knees holding my head. My head is throbbing and more tears roll down my cheeks. I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I stiffen up.

"F-freed, what is the matter?!" Mira yells and Evergreen gets down at my level. I lean down and lay my head on the cold floor. My breathing is still fast and my head is heavy. Why the fuck am I still here! These morons don't need to see me have a god damn anxiety attack right now! I keep screaming at myself in my head as I cry and hear many confused voices trying to see what is wrong with me. Okay....okay...Freed just...breathe....just breathe...My breathing begins to slow down but my migraine hits me harder and another tear falls down my cheek. I breathe heavily and I feel Evergreen lay her head on my back. She gently grabs my chin and pulls it up to her face. She pulls me into a long huge and I cry into her shoulder.

"Oh god. Freed, what's the matter?" Ever says with a very gentle hint in her voice. I say nothing but I think my sobs say a lot. Evergreen looks up at everybody that has crowded around me and waves at them to stand back. She tries to get me to stand up with her as she still holds me in her arms. I try to speak but she just sh's me quietly. After a few minutes of me crying on my friend I lean back and see her crying as well.

"E-ever what's the matter?" I say and another tear streams down my cheek.

"Oh Freed. You haven't cried on me like that since we were 16," Ever sniffles. She walks me over to the infirmary and we sit down on one of the beds.

"Freed, what's the matter? You don't tell Bickslow and I anything anymore," She says and wipes away the tears on my cheeks.

"Evergreen. Its everything. Everything is just so hard lately. Life is just hitting me right in the gut and I don't know what to do."

"Hey, we have all been there. You just have to make sure you don't bottle it up and keep it to yourself. It feels much better if you just talk." Evergreen pulls me into another hug then kisses my forehead.

"So I'm gonna tell you something that nobody else knows yet okay?" The brunette says and I nod. She grabs my hand and places it on her stomach.

"I'm pregnant."

"W-what!?" I yell in surprise. A huge smile appears on my face and I hug her.

"Oh my god! I'm gonna be an uncle!" I yell and a tear of happiness streams down my cheek.

"Haha yup! You know I haven't told anyone else so its a secret," She says and holds a finger up to her mouth. I nod and pull her into one last hug. We soon step out of the large room and everyone rushes over to me.

"Oh my gosh! Freed are you okay?" Mira yells as well as many other questions stir as well.

"Y-yes. J-just a quick panic attack. It's fine. It happens all the time!" I try to explain but keep getting bombarded by questions. I stiffen up and try to hide behind Ever. Soon the crowd dies when Master yells to leave me alone. I sit down at the bar again and the urge to cut hits me. Bickslow and Ever slide in next to me and order us all drinks. I don't have my blades and I can't go home again.

"H-hey, Mira. D-do you possibly have a small knife I could borrow quick?" I ask and Mira gives me a weird look.

"S-sure. What are you going to do with it?" She asks and hands me a very sharp knife.

"Oh-uh nothing. I'll bring it back as fast as I can," I say and make my way up the stairs to a storage room nobody goes into. I lock the door behind me and I tear off my sweatshirt and bandages to reveal my badly cut arms. I start to cry again and I bring the knife to my arm. I hesitate...then I drag the sharp edge of the steel across my arms. It leaves small markings that bleed and drip onto the floor. I fall to my knees and my cuts gently deeper and deeper to the point where I am shoving a good half inch into my arm. My sobs soon get loud and I cover my mouth. It all hurts so much and my head still hurts. I drop the knife and shove my hands on my face. Blood streams down my arms and onto my clothing. I sob for a good 5 minutes before I pull my senses back together. I drop my hands to my legs and stare at the knife. I need to cut more. I sigh and start to rip off my pants so I am just in underwear and a t-shirt. I grab the knife and start to cut my thighs as I did with my arms. The cuts kept getting deeper and deeper. More blood poured out of me and I felt I have done myself enough harm for today. I sigh and began to re-cloth myself. I guess its good I wore black pants today. Though you couldn't see the stains on my pants you could see the wetness of the blood still pouring. I rewrap my arms with the bandages and grab the knife off the floor. I see a small rag and clean it off. I tried to walk but my legs hurt so bad I let out a small moan of pain. I hurled over and held my arms close to my body. I sighed and walked back down the stairs. I returned the knife to Mira and she gave me a weird look. I sat down and tried to cover my thighs with my sweatshirt. Ever, Bickslow and Mira go back to talking and I grab my phone.

Freed: Oh Erik I cut again...And I had a anxiety attack...do you think you can make up an excuse and pick me up?

Erik: Omg! Are you okay?! Of course I will be there in a few minutes

I smile and turn off my phone. I sit at the bar till I hear the large guild doors open. I see Erik standing in the doorway and I get up.

"Oh my lanta! Freed are you okay?" Erik says and gives me a huge hug.

"Y-yeah," I say and give him a small kiss. I see my guildmates very obviously confused.

"We better go before they try to ask questions," I whisper and we start to walk out. Everybody is in so much confusion that they just leave it be. As soon as we get into my apartment I break down crying in Erik's arms.

"O-oh Erik! I-I don't know what is going on. I just had an anxiety attack and I went into a panic...I just," I try to stutter out but my tears restricted my talking abilities.

"H-hey its okay. Its okay Freed," Erik says and brushes his fingers through my hair. He sh'es me and I look up at him. He gives me a kiss and wipes away my tears with his thumb.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"


	6. Boyfriend

|Freed's POV|

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Erik's words caught me by surprise and I gasped a little. For a second my brain couldn't comprehend the words he said but when they did the answer ran fast in my head.

"Yes! Of course!" I yell and we both stand up to give each other a long hug. We both laugh and hug for a few minutes. I stare into Erik's eyes and I give him a small kiss.

"I love you," I tell him and he smiles.

"I love you too."

|Time Skip To The Next Day|

"Hey Freed. Its time to wake up you have to get to work," Erik whispers and shakes my shoulder a little bit.

"Mm. Okay," I respond. I try to move but I just fall back asleep.

"Freeeeeeeedd," He says and stretches out my name as he shakes me again. I sigh and sit up to see Erik leaning against his pillow and looking at me.

"Good morning sunshine," He says and smiles. I roll my eyes and give him a small kiss before I get up. I jump in the shower quick and wash my hair. It was looking a little greasy. I got out, dried myself off, got dressed, I packed a small bag (a book, notepad, pen, and of course, my blades) then I went out to see Erik making two bowls of cereal. I laugh a little bit and we eat some cereal together. I look at the clock and its 7:40 am. I stand up and grab my bag off the chair. Erik walks over to me and puts his hands on my hips. He pecks me on the lips and I give him one last hug. For safety measures...I walk out the door and make my way downstairs. I don't usually talk to Theresa in the mornings cause she is usually trying to wake up and read so I leave her alone. I walk down the brick looking sidewalk and soon get to the guild. I pull out my phone and I am just on time.

"Ah. Freed. You decided to show up on time today. Didn't you?" Master says. I see him sitting at my teams usually table. He has a glass of beer in his hand and his other on his crossed knee.

I sit down next to him, "What is it that you need Master?"

"Well. Freed something is up with you lately and I don't know what. You go between looking like you've had the best day of your life to your whole family just died in a split second. You haven't been acting like yourself. Showing up late. Not wearing your usual red coat. So what's up my boy? You know you can always talk to me."

"Master. I am fine. Its just been a little hard lately. I-I can't really explain it. My head is just going bezerk and my body doesn't know how to react."

"We all get to that point sometimes but you just have to live through it the best you can. Yes it's hard but its life I guess."

"Yes, I agree Master. I have tried to make best of my time and meet some new people. That hasn't really gotten me anywhere but I have a boyfriend now."

"What? Really? Oh Freed I'm so proud of you. Who is he?"

"His name is Erik Sylvester and he is a bartender."

"Ah a non-wizard you say. Do you like him?"

"Of course I do. I love him with all my heart. He just doesn't get all this magic stuff and my job and all."

"Yeah a lot of non-wizards are like that but if you love each other, that is what matters. You should bring him by sometime so he can meet the guild. He seems like a good guy."

"Yeah, I will do that Master."

"Good, good. Alright I'll leave you be but always know I'm right upstairs you can always come talk to me."

"I know, Master. I will."

"Good boy," He says and pats me on the shoulder as he walks off. I see Mira walk over to me the same as she did yesterday.

"Can I get you anything Freed?" She asks and smiles.

"Just a glass of wine please," I respond and she smiles as she walks back to the bar. Mira returns with my usual but she brought the whole bottle and glass this time. Yup she knows me all to well. I guess I dressed more like myself today. I wore my usual white dress shirt and some black dress pants but my red coat seems to have not made an encounter with the guild quite yet. I bring out my book and I see a couple of my blades. No, I have to stay strong, for Erik. I close my bag and lay the book on table. I pour some wine into my glass and start to engulf myself in my book. I was rereading the Harry Potter series again for the millionth time; it never gets old. I get to chapter 19 and I set my bookmark between the pages. I lay back and take a long sip of my wine. As I sit there I see Ever and Bickslow terrorizing everybody with Bickslow's babies. I giggle and the large guild doors swing open. Laxus trots into the guild with a couple wounds and bandages. He is very obviously tired and hurt. This must have been a bad job I guess. I walk over to him and he pulls me into a short lived hug.

"Hey Freed! How you doing?" He says.

"Oh Laxus, you are hurt and tired you need to lay down."

"Don't be silly, I'm fine," The blonde says and yawns. I put my hands on my hips and I see Mira stand next to me.

"Yeah Laxus. You better lay down. You probably didn't sleep that whole time," Mira said and laughed. She put a hand on my shoulder and we both led Laxus to lay down. He quickly fell asleep so we both left him alone.

"Oh my gosh. That fool thinks he can fight without any sleep or regeneration," I say and cross my arms.

"Yeah. That's just the way he is sometimes though," Mira replies and rubs my back. She walks back over to the bar and starts serving drinks again. I walk back over to my table and see my phone ringing. I answer it and hear Erik's voice.

"Freed! You finally answered. Sorry this is on late notice but I won't be home tonight. There is going to be a big party at the bar tonight and I have a feeling I won't get home tonight."

"Its okay, Erik. I don't mind. Work is like that. I would say I would come by but all the people would stress me out."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Though, you are always welcome."

"Yeah, I know but still and I don't want to distract you while you are working."

"You won't. Though I may get hit on by some girls."

"Ah, you better not respond."

"I won't. I love you to much. To make up for not being home tonight would you want to go see that one movie you want to watch with me tomorrow?"

"Ah! Id love to Erik."

"Good. So I will see you tomorrow but it depends when I get home."

"Okay, baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Alright. Ba-bye."

I hang up the phone and set it down on the table.

"Soooo. Who was that?" Evergreen says with a sly grin across her face. I jump and sigh.

"Uh...nobody."

"Sure. Nobody. I don't believe you," Evergreen says and leans against me.

"Ugh, Ever it really is nobody," I whined and stretched out my words. I start to stand up and walk away.

"Is it your boyfriend...?" Evergreen says and also stretches out her words. I feel my face heat up and I wipe back around to see her laying on her stomach with her head in her hands.

"W-what! No! Or course not!" I yell back and she laughs.

"Haha. Freed I have known you since you were 12! I know when you are lying! You totally have a boyfriend!" The brunette yelled and laughed. I shushed her and put my hand over her mouth. I grab her arm and pull her into a corner. I kept my hand over her mouth and my other tightly on her wrist.

"Alright. Yes I have a boyfriend. B-but you can't tell anyone. Its not completely official. The only other person that knows is Master. Please don't tell anyone," I sigh and slowly take my hand away from her mouth and hand. Her face is flushed and she puts her hands over her face. I see tears going down her face.

"W-what! E-ever! What is it? I didn't say anything wrong, did I?" I say in a panic and put my hand on her shoulder.

"No! I've just always thought you'd never find love other than Laxus!" She cried out.

"W-what!?" I yell and shake her by both her shoulders. Evergreen starts to laugh and she wipes her eyes.

"Ugh, that is so mean!" I yell at her again and she keeps laughing. I sigh and lay my face in my hands. At this point, Evergreen is laying on the ground laughing with her hands over her stomach. I look up and see everyone concerningly looking at us. I mean look at it from their point of view. A green haired dude that has his face in his hands a lady laying on the ground laughing. I would probably look at those people with concern as well. Soon Evergreens laughs die down and now she's just crying. Really. Really. Loudly. I sigh and pick her up. I through her on a chair at the bar and she lays her head on the table to continue crying.

"Ever you can stop crying and throwing a fit," I say and put my hands on my hips. Ever turns her head and looks at me, tears streaming down and staining her face with her cheeks flushed from laughter.

"What is this about?" Mirajane says with her tray placed at her hip.

"Uhh. Nothing," I snap. She gives me a suspicious look and goes back to doing her job. Oh gosh. This is gonna be a long week...


	7. Questions

|Freed's POV|

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow Mirajane!" I say on my way out the guild doors. Finally, a full work day without a breakdown or cutting! I'm actually pretty proud of myself. Well, Evergreen now knows of Erik but at least she won't tease me. I started walking down the brick sidewalk back to my apartment. I remember that Erik is working late tonight. Great, but we are going to go to that movie tomorrow night. I really hope I don't have a breakdown or something and make him come home. I mean that is just so selfish, to make your partner come home over your own foolishness. I sigh and open the glass door to the lobby of the apartment complex.

"Ah, hello Freed! Good day at work I guess?" Theresa says and smiles.

"Y-yeah. A whole day through for once," I reply.

"Haha me too! Except I work till 11," She says and chuckles.

"I don't know what I would do if I worked that late," I say as I make my way to the stairs.

"Eh, you get used to it I guess," She replies," Well have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," I reply and quickly run up the stairs. I grab my keys from my pocket and unlock the door. I walk inside and drop my bag by the door. I walk in the kitchen and see the dishes pilled up by the sink, it looks like I haven't swept years, my appliances are at least 9 years old. I really need to start taking better care of myself and my home. I sigh and open up the fridge. All I see is 2 weeks old groceries and none of them look appetizing. I really should go shopping but...what's the point. I walk into my bedroom and fall onto my bed. I grab my phone from my pocket and scroll through the feed on Facebook. Everyone, especially Evergreen, has bugged me to get social media for years but it just never really clicked in my head. I just never got the point to it. I get up and walk towards my wardrobe. I pull out some night clothes and head to the bathroom to shower. As I strip down my clothes I look at my scars. I sigh and run my fingers down my arm. Since they were couple days old I took off my bandages to let them breathe. I start to water and hop into the steamy shower. The sensation of hot water hitting my face brings me such joy. Showers are surprisingly the one place I feel I'm at peace. Just a space to think I guess. I open the bottle and squirt some of the shampoo into my hand. I close it and rub the soap into my hair. As I run my fingers through the strands it gets me thinking...does Erik care if I look like a girl?

Do you think he will get embarrassed for the millions of times I am mistaken? I sigh and wash the soap out and after I put some conditioner in. I just can't seem to shake that thought. Maybe he hates how long my hair is but won't admit it because he is too nice of a person? God, why do I have to be so ignorant? I wash the rest of the soap out of my hair and stop the water. I grab my towel and dry myself off. I start to redress myself and I look in the mirror. I sigh and I start to run the hairbrush through my long, green hair. Maybe he doesn't like the color? Maybe a more natural color would suit me better? Would it make him more happy? Maybe he wishes I was a girl. What if he only loves me because I look very feminine. Maybe I should start to wear makeup and paint my nails or some shit. I set the hairbrush down and I throw my hair into a bun. I grab my toothbrush and put some of the minty goodness onto the bristles. As I brush my teeth my head just keeps making me think of more questions. What if he doesn't actually love me? What if he just wants me for sex? What if he only wants to be with me to brag that he is dating a wizard. What if...what if he just wants to leave me like everybody else in my life after they make an impact on me... I feel tears well up in my eyes and I rush out of the bathroom. Bathrooms may bring me peace while in the shower but its always the place I'm most insecure.

Why does everybody act so nice to me? Why do they even care about me? Why do they act like I'm their family even though I'm just a worthless piece of shit?! Why?! Why do they pretend to love me?! Why do they act like everything is so fucking perfect all the goddamn time?! Why do they have to make me feel wanted?! Why do they...why do they pretend to care that I'm even alive? Tears are now streaming down my cheeks as I scream and groan as I yell questions. A migraine starts to come on and I feel so worthless. Why do I have to be like this?! Why haven't I just ended this shit yet? Why?! Why did god give me life and not kill me yet?! I hold the pillow close to my chest as I lean my face into the bed. The tears burn my eyes and I'm holding onto the pillow so hard my cuts break open and bleed through. All this pain is not just physical its mostly mental. Why can't I just be a normal person with normal friends and a normal family with a normal life and normal job and...and...I eventually stop crying and I just sit on the edge of my bed, still holding the pillow. I sink down on the floor and sit with my knees close to my chest. I feel so empty...like I've cried every single emotion out of my body. I just don't even want to feel pain anymore...I don't want to feel anything. I start to drift off to sleep as my migraine worsens and my cuts bleed deeper through the pillow. I lay my head on my knees and drift off to sleep.


	8. Sick Day

|Freed's POV|

As I woke up I mostly felt pain, some physical and some mental. My head pounded out of my skull and my arms were soaked and burned. I blinked and my vision was blurry. My eyes burned and cheeks are stiff from my dried tears. I sniffle and lay my head back down on the pillow. No matter how much pain I was in I couldn't stand up for anything. My ears ring and my head continues to pound. I then feel a hand on my shoulder and presence near me. I didn't want to look up I just shook my head a bit. The person shook me a little bit and I forced myself to look up. I see Erik. He is still in his work clothes. He looks tired and concerned. He sat down next to me and smiled. He moved the hair out of my face and rubbed his thumb on my cheek. I felt tears form in my eyes again. Erik pulls me into a hug and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I lay my head on his chest as silent tears fell from my eyes. After a few minutes of silent crying and hugging, he pulls away and looks at my face. He smiles and gives me a small, passionate kiss. I know exactly what he said with no words.

Erik took the pillow away from my grasp and the case stuck to my bloody forearms and pulled on the skin. I make a small sound and pull my arms close to me. I don't really weigh much so he picks me up and set me on the bed. A small tear falls down my cheek again and rewets the stains. Erik runs into the bathroom and comes back with a wet washcloth. He sits down next me and gently takes my right arm in his hand. Erik rubs the towel on my arm and some of the blood comes off onto the towel. Not all of the blood comes off and it leaves a stain on my pale skin. He moves to the other arm and tries to remove the rest of the blood. Erik goes back into the bathroom and cleans out the towel. He brings me a sweatshirt and he throws it on me.

"Freed you should lay down," He says gently and rubs my back. I nod and get under the covers. Erik kisses my forehead and walks out of the room and closes the door. He returns in a few minutes with a cup of tea and an granola bar. I sit up against the bedframe and take small sips of the hot chamomile tea. I drink quite a bit I mean I just cried my life away so I was pretty thirsty. Erik took the white and blue mug out of my hands and opened up the granola bar. I took a bite and I instantly felt nauseous. I set the bar down on my nightstand and swallowed the bite. Erik chuckled and handed me the glass again. I finished up the last of the tea and set the glass down. I look at the small clock on the stand next to my bed. It said 10:26 am. Well shit. I guess another late day at work I guess.

"Do you want to call the guild?" Erik asked and pulled out his phone.

"Yeah," I responded in a raspy low voice. He handed me the phone and I typed in the number. Erik took back the phone and someone eventually picked up.

|3rd Person|

"Hello, this is Master Makarov of the Fairy Tail guild speaking. How may I help you?" Freed heard Master say. He put the phone on speaker so the rest of the guild could hear the conversation and everyone stood quiet.

"H-hello my name is Eric Sylvester. I am Freed Justine's boyfriend and I just wanted to tell you that he won't be able to come in today. He got sick yesterday and he's not feeling very well," Erik said and looked at Freed. The whole guild's mouths dropped at the word 'boyfriend'.

"Well at least he calls me this time. Is he awake?"

"Uh, yeah would you like to talk to him?"

"Yes, please."

Erik handed the phone over to Freed and he held it close to his ear.

"H-hello, master. Yes, I'm sorry I won't be able to come in today I am bit under the weather," He said, his voice shaky and raspy.

"That's quite alright Freed. I would rather you be getting better at home then sick and miserable here. At least you have someone to take care of you. Please take as much time as you need off to get better. If you need anything feel free to call me."

"O-okay. Thank you a lot master. I will try to be back to the guild as soon as possible. I don't want to get anyone else sick."

"Yes that would not be a fun. Well take care you too and I hope you get better soon Freed."

"Okay thank you again master."

"Your welcome my boy."

The whole guild has nothing else to say. They were so frazzled by the fact that Freed now has a boyfriend that isn't Laxus! They were all happy for him but Laxus felt a hint of regret and sadness because now...the love of his life is in love with another person. Freed hung up and gave the phone back to Erik. Erik pulled the green haired man into a big bear hug and held him tight. Freed pulled away and gave his significant other a kiss. Erik pushed into the kiss and deepened it further. As we fondled each others bodies and kissed, my eyes watered and my body became fatigued.

"Are you okay, Freed?" The brunette asked and looked at me worried. I started to become nauseous again and my head felt as if butterflies were in my skull. I quickly got up and sprinted to the bathroom. As I threw up in the small, white toilet I heard Erik's footsteps. I pushed down the lever to flush it and looked to my left. His arms were crossed as he leaned in the doorway, though his pose was serious his face was full of sadness and worry. The man quickly tried to pull me up and laid me back on my bed. Erik grabbed the thermometer from the kitchen and ran the plastic piece across my forehead.

103°

"Awe Freed you are burning up! We have to get you to a hospital!" He yelled and threw the thermometer on the bed.

Erik grabbed a backpack from the closet and threw some crap in it. He eventually put my shoes on for me and called a cab on his phone. We ran outside of the apartment and got into the sheik, black Nissan.

"I-I don't really think anything's wrong, Erik. I feel like your overreacting," I tell him and my words are slurred from the nausea.

"Freed, your temperature is at 103° you are really sick," He said and grabbed my hand. He pulled my head close to his chest and ran his fingers through my green hair. I smelled his cologne and tugged on my sweatshirt sleeve. We very quickly arrived at the hospital and Erik dragged me into the emergency room.

"Ma'am, my boyfriend's fever is at 103° and he's been feeling really sick and throwing up and," My boyfriend rambled and the nurse quickly stood up.

"Oh don't worry. We will get this fixed up fast," She said and quickly brought us into a small room. I sat on the bed and the woman quickly took my temperature.

"Damn. It jumped up fast. Your at 104° now," She said and ran out of the room. Another nurse ran into the room with her and made me take some pills while the other took my blood pressure. My nausea peaked and I felt like I was gonna throw up again. I held my stomach and leaned over. As the nurses did all these tests on me I began to get sleepy. My eyes felt like rocks and my body felt like it was going to crumble from the weight I felt on it. They people motioned me to lay down and I got under the covers as they ran IV's and gave me various medicines. I started to drift off and my eyelids drooped. Hm, I could go for a nap...


End file.
